The Enterprise Backup Batch

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If a piece of software is described in any way, shape or form as being "enterprise", it's a safe bet that you don't actually want to use it. As a general rule, "enterprise" software packages mix the Inner-Platform Effect with trying to be all things to all customers, with thousands upon thousands of lines of legacy code that can't be touched because at least one customer depends on those quirks. There doesn't tend to be much competition in the "enterprise" space, so none of the vendors actually put any thought into making their products good. That's what salesbeasts and lawyers are for.

Kristoph M supports a deployment of Initech's data warehouse system. Since this system is a mix of stored procedures and SSIS packages, Kristoph can actually read a good portion of the code which makes the product work. They just choose not to. And that's usually a good choice.


Errors Don't Always Ad up

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"You know, I'm thinking that The guys working on AT&T's DIRECTV service must have not done well with fractions in school," Andrew T. writes.


Null Error Handling

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Oliver works for a very large company. Just recently, someone decided that it was time to try out those “newfangled REST services.”

Since this was “new”, at least within the confines of the organization, that meant there were a lot more eyes on the project and a more thorough than average code review process. That’s how Oliver found this.


Structured Searching

by in CodeSOD on

It’s hard to do any non-trivial programming in C without having to use a struct. Structs are great! A single variable holds access to multiple pieces of data, and all the nasty details of how they’re laid out in memory are handled by the compiler.

In more modern OO languages, we take that kind of thing for granted. We’re so abstracted from the details of how memory is laid out it’s easy to forget how tricky and difficult actually managing that kind of memory layout is.


Process by Management

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Alice's team was thirty developers, taking up most of the floor of a nondescript office building in yet another office park. Their team was a contractor-to-a-contractor for a branch of the US military, which meant a variety of things. First, bringing a thumb drive into the office was a firing offense. Second, they were used to a certain level of bureaucracy. You couldn't change a line of code unless you had four different documents confirming the change was necessary and was authorized, and actually deploying a change was a milestone event with code freezes and expected extra hours.

Despite all this, the thirty person team had built a great working relationship. They had made their process as efficient as they could, and their PM, Doug, understood the work well enough to keep things streamlined. In fact, Doug did such a good job that Doug got promoted. Enter Millie, his replacement.


The Bogus Animation

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Animations have become such an omnipresent part of our UI designs anymore that we tend to only notice them when they're bad.

Ben is working on an iOS application which appeared to have a "bad" animation. In this case, it's bad because it's slow. How slow? Well, they have a table view with ten items in it, and the items should quickly tween to their new state- position, text, colors all could change in this process. And it was taking four seconds.


Classic WTF: Working Around, Over and Through the Process

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It's still a holiday weekend in the US; after playing with fireworks yesterday, most of us have to spend today trying to find the fingers we lost. There are no fireworks in this classic story, but there may be some karma… Original --Remy

When Kevin landed a job at Townbank in the late 1980s, he came face-to-face with the same thing that thousands of newly minted developers had encountered before and since – there is more to being a corporate programmer than just writing code – there’s the process.

Second only, perhaps, to the strict rules commanded by the world’s religions, the process keeps the code consistent. Glory to the process – praised be the process - the process is good, the process should always be followed, and above all, the process is good for you!


Classic WTF: The Backup Snippet

by in Representative Line on
It's "Independence Day" here in the US, which is the day in which developers celebrate their independence from DBAs and switch everything over to NoSQL, no matter what the cost. Or something like that, the history is a little fuzzy. But it's a holiday here, so in honor of that, here's a related story. Original --Remy

Generally speaking, Andrew tries his best to avoid the DBA team. It's not just because database administrators tend to be a unique breed (his colleagues were certainly no exception), but because of the "things" that he'd heard about the team. The sort of "things" that keep developers up at night and make them regret not becoming an accountant.

One day, while debugging an issue with their monitoring scripts, Andrew had no choice but to check with Thom, a member of Team DBA. It turned out that one of DBA's had recently updated their database backup script, but Thom wasn't really sure who did it, why it was done, or what it looked like before. So, he just sent Andrew the entire backup script.


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