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Blind Leading the Blind

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Corporate Standards. You know, all those rules created over time by bureaucrats who think that they're making things better by mandating consistency. The ones that force you to take time to change an otherwise properly-functioning system to comply with rules that don't really apply in the context of the application, but need to be blindly followed anyway. Here are a couple of good examples.

Honda vfr750r

Kevin L. worked on an application that provides driving directions via device-hosted map application. The device was designed to be bolted to the handlebars of a motorcycle. Based upon your destination and current coordinates, it would display your location and the marked route, noting things like distance to destination, turns, traffic circles and exit ramps. A great deal of effort was put into the visual design, because even though the device *could* provide audio feedback, on a motorcycle, it was impossible to hear.


Keeping Up Appearances

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Just because a tool is available doesn't mean people will use it correctly. People have abused booleans, dates, enums, databases, Go-To's, PHP, reinventing the wheel and even Excel to the point that this forum will never run out of material!

Bug and issue trackers are Good Things™. They let you keep track of multiple projects, feature requests, and open and closed problems. They let you classify the issues by severity/urgency. They let you specify which items are going into which release. They even let you track who did the work, as well as all sorts of additional information.

An optical illusion in which two squares that are actually the same color appear to be different colors

Leaky Fun For the Whole Family

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Those of us that had the luxury of learning to program in C or other non-auto-gc'd langauges, learned early on the habit of writing the allocation and deallocation of a block of memory at the same time, and only then filling in the code in between afterward. This prevented those nasty I-forgot-to-free-it memory leaks.

Cedar point

Of course, that doesn't guarantee that memory can't ever leak; it just eliminates the more obvious sources of leakage.


A Shell Game

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When the big banks and brokerages on Wall Street first got the idea that UNIX systems could replace mainframes, one of them decided to take the plunge - Big Bang style. They had hundreds of programmers cranking out as much of the mainframe functionality as they could. Copy-paste was all the rage; anything to save time. It could be fixed later.

Nyst 1878 - Cerastoderma parkinsoni R-klep

Senior management decreed that the plan was to get all the software as ready as it could be by the deadline, then turn off and remove the mainframe terminals on Friday night, swap in the pre-configured UNIX boxes over the weekend, and turn it all on for Monday morning. Everyone was to be there 24 hours a day from Friday forward, for as long as it took. Air mattresses, munchies, etc. were brought in for when people would inevitably need to crash.


Undermining the Boss

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During the browser wars of the late 90's, I worked for a company that believed that security had to consist of something you have and something you know. As an example, you must have a valid site certificate, and know your login and password. If all three are valid, you get in. Limiting retry attempts would preclude automated hack attempts. The security (mainframe) team officially deemed this good enough to thwart any threat that might come from outside our firewall.

The Murder of Julius Caesar

As people moved away from working on mainframes to working on PCs, it became more difficult to get current site certificates to every user every three months (security team mandate). The security team decreed that e/snail-mail was not considered secure enough, so a representative of our company had to fly to every client company, go to every user PC and insert a disk to install the latest site certificate. Every three months. Ad infinitum.


Finding Your Strong Suit

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Anyone with more than a few years of experience has been called upon to interview candidates for a newly opened/vacated position. There are many different approaches to conducting an interview, including guessing games, gauntlets and barrages of rapid-fire questions to see how much of the internet the candidate has memorized.

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By DavidLevinson


Walking on the Sun

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In 1992, I worked at a shop that was all SunOS. Most people had a Sparc-1. Production boxes were the mighty Sparc-2, and secretaries had the lowly Sun 360. Somewhat typical hardware for the day.

SPARCstation 1

Sun was giving birth to their brand spanking new Solaris, and was pushing everyone to convert from SunOS. As with any OS change in a large shop, it doesn't just happen; migration planning needs to occur. All of our in-house software needed to be ported to the new Operating System.


Flobble

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The Inner Platform Effect, third only after booleans and dates, is one of the most complicated blunders that so-called developers (who think that they know what they're doing) do to Make Things Better.™ Combine that with multiple inheritance run-amok and a smartass junior developer who thinks documentation and method naming are good places to be cute, and you get todays' submission.

A cat attacking an impossible object illusion to get some tuna from their human

Chops,an experienced C++ developer somewhere in Europe, was working on their flagship product. It had been built slowly over 15 years by a core of 2-3 main developers, and an accompanying rotating cast of enthusiastic but inexperienced C++ developers. The principal developer had been one of those juniors himself at the start of development. When he finally left, an awful lot of knowledge walked out the door with him.


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