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| Non-WTF Job: C++ Developer at Good Grievance (Ronkonkoma, NY) |
| « 1.22: Working For The Man | Your Feedback WILL Improve The System! » |
Jared D.'s time at the hardware store's paint department was mostly uneventful. At 16 years old, he worked over the summer to make some extra money before starting his sophomore year of high school. Day in, day out he'd guide customers to rollers, brushes, primers, tapes, and sponges. It wasn't as boring, though, when he got to use the paint machine.
The paint machine was pretty awesome — a customer would bring up a paint swatch, Jared would key in the color, and the machine would mix the appropriate amount of each primary and secondary color, producing something that matched the swatch. Even better, shortly after Jared started, a second system was added — one with an optical sensor that could find the closest paint match to any physical object. He'd then take its output and key it in to the paint machine. One side effect of the new system, though, was that it would crash somewhat frequently. And when it did, there was only one guy who could fix it: The Sage.
The Sage, also known as the Senior Paint Specialist, had been with the store for years. He was a 70 year old man with an ash-gray beard, white hair, tired eyes, and a raspy voice. He was always happy to help, but the staff tried to bother him as little as possible.
Since the Sage was off for a few days, Jared had to do things the old way — going through swatch booklets and finding the appropriate swatch manually. The scanner and the mixer were two separate systems, so he was at least still able to mix the paint. Still, after having the convenience and speed of the scanner, it was a pain to go back to the old method.
The system was down until the next time Jared and The Sage had an overlapping shift. "Jared," he said in a tone that was gruff but not unfriendly, "they say you're good with computers. I think I can fix it myself, but I might need a hand with this."
The Sage traced the manual with his finger, finding the exact instructions to fix the machine. Jared watched as The Sage's fingers twisted into the command necessary to key it in; except he wasn't typing, he was holding down each key that he pressed. Like a game of twister, he reached the point that he couldn't reach the remaining keys after about eight keystrokes.
Wow, that's a hell of a command, Jared thought. The Sage turned his head, still holding the keys down. "OK kid, I need your help after all. You need to press down-" he paused and glanced at the documentation, "the plus sign, the 'D' key, the 'E' key, and the 'L' key."
Jared eyed the keyboard — The Sage was already on two of the keys he needed. "Can you press the plus again? Is that how you do it?"
"Oh, yeah, I think so. It's been a while since the last time I did this." The Sage's right index finger released and pressed '+' again. Jared just needed the D and E, then the sage could do the rest.
After they finally hit the right combination, they stepped back and watched the monitor. Nothing happened. "Ah shucks. I might have to do something else with this hunk of junk. Thanks anyway, kid!"
Thinking he could still help somehow, Jared asked The Sage if he could read the manual. The Sage handed Jared the book and pointed to the troubleshooting page. "See, it's right here, kid."
The manual read:
If the scanner doesn't read objects or the keyboard doesn't seem to be responding, press the following combination: CTRL+ALT+DEL
Jared explained that it actually meant control alt delete; not some finger-contorting, carpal-tunnel inducing key combination. He restarted the system, and it came back up without any issues.
It was that day that Jared became the new sage.
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I suppose not even <> surrounding the text indicating a key to press would have helped, it would have just been two more keys to hold down. <CTRL> + <ALT> + <DEL>.
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Actually, win 95 and 98 it would pop up task manager first and if you pressed it again while task manager was up, it would restart the machine. Oh and Windows 1-3.x would restart the computer :D |
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arg, couldn't reach shift. |
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Having worked retail, I have this to say: The Manual is usually in a supervisor/manager only location. Corporate mandates this so that the manual doesn't get lost. Normal employees do not violate this stipulation for fear of being terminated. There were numerous times that I did some minor monkeying around with a computer at the retail location to try and get it to work, but if I didn't fix it quickly I just gave up and moved on. Given sufficient time, I could have fixed it but: a) I would be paid 10x as much if I were to do that for someone else, and b) My job at the time is to ring up customers, so I just moved on to another register and let someone else deal with it.
I used to work for an Electronics store that uses a DOS program running on a 286 emulator on Windows XP Home. The program is updated every few weeks. Whenever something goes horribly awry (like a network error), it announces in a big purple box on the bottom of the screen: "WARNING: Network Error. Press CTRL+ALT+DEL." It used to say "WARNING: Pinpad not connected. Press CTRL+ALT+DEL.". When I started working there I just thought, "OK, it's a holdover from the days when this used to be DOS. They just haven't updated it." Then, one day, it no longer stopped the program when the pinpad was disconnected. I guess they got tired of us having to make the customer wait two minutes while the program reloaded (We didn't CTRL+ALT+DEL, we just clicked X on the CMD window and chose End Task. It still took the program a few minutes to load, which felt like an eternity when you had an impatient customer waiting there). Instead of announcing that the pin pad was disconnected and that we had to restart the computer, it instead showed a big window with new text: "Pinpad disconnected. Press Alt+F and select About. If the pinpad is not connected after 10 tries, press CTRL+ALT+DEL. Press any key to continue." Soooo, they've been running on XP for at least a year, and they add NEW text telling us to press CTRL+ALT+DEL. Do the programers just not know that CTRL+ALT+DEL doesn't restart the program, let alone the computer? Considering the gross incompetance displayed in the program, I'd guess that they probably aren't yet aware of that fact. I halfway want to work for that company just so that I can get a barrel of WTFs to send in... |
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